In examining relationships, it is important to first define terminology typically associated with romance and relationships. Let us begin by defining a relationship as it stands in the dictionary. A relationship is a: 1) "romantic or passionate attachment" or 2) "the state of being related or interrelated". From this dry definition it may be concluded that a relationship may be a binding of more than one person of a friendly flavor or of romantic flavor. Becoming more specific, Webster’s Online Dictionary defines friendship as "the state of being attached to another by affection or esteem". Also friendship may be defined as "the favored companionship of people". Again this definition relates the ideas that friendship is a type of relationship in which people choose to relate because of favor or some sort of preferred attachment. Interesting is the fact that Webster’s definition links friendship with affection and self-esteem, leading the way into our inference that dating is a higher level of having a friendship with more affection. Dating is explained as to accompany, escort; court, woo another. Long-term relationships are usually considered to be a balance of dating and courting depending on the couple. The dictionary definition of courting is "to engage in social activities leading to engagement and marriage". Obviously, courting (albeit a somewhat old-fashioned and less used term) is yet a further advanced level of dating and hence a relationship. Courting appears to be reserved for those couples with more serious interest in finding a permanent partner or mate. Finally the definition of the apparent goal of romantic relationships: "Marriage – 1) an intimate or close union. 2) the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family". Noteworthy in the two Webster’s definitions is the fact that both neglect to mention the word love (a heavily repeated theme in all responses of those surveyed for this project), and that the first definition is just a more intimate variation of our original definition of relationship. Quite obviously each of these terms defined describing phases of relationships are interrelated themselves and are used to describe increasing degrees of intimacy in a romance.

As concluded in the previous paragraph, the link of all forms of romantic relationships is a varying degree of love. Love can be used to describe participants in any level of a relationship from friendship to marriage and everything in between, yet it does not necessarily indicate the same set of emotions and feelings. Love is a concept which is so individual and diverse that each definition is unique and yet accurate in some aspect. Many of our survey participants cited the Christian religion as a strong influence on their concept of love. As one survey respondent requested us to mention, "I know Christian beliefs are very taboo and old fashioned, but coming from my background you can see I am not naive to the real world and hope in your final project you will find that some principles of courting and in 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible really are still relevant to our culture…Read 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible, it really does have an excellent definition of love!" Webster’s Dictionary further defines Love as "1) an attraction based on sexual desire 2) affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests inspired by affection". Still these definitions somehow do not manage to fully encompass the miraculous emotion we call love. It is difficult to believe that love is just based on sexual desire as in definition 1 or on plain affection or on common interests. Love is most definitely an indefinable emotion.

It is helpful to examine the terminology we can define that is associated with actions for each of the phases of relationships previously noted. Two of the most interesting definable terms related to relationships are sex and cheating. Sex is "1) sexually motivated phenomena 2) behavior intercourse involving genital contact between individuals". These definitions (courtesy of Webster’s) are extremely ironic given that once again, the word love is not included in the definition of sex at all, yet nearly all of our survey respondents included the word love in their responses to questions regarding sex. Many survey respondents emphasized how important and necessary they felt the bond was between love and sex. Another concept that is equally interesting in its ties with love and sex is the act of cheating. Cheating is literally defined as "1) to be sexually unfaithful 2) to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud". In the sense of second definition depriving your partner of love and possibly sex is technically considered cheating as per Webster’s dictionary. Further evidence in support of the fact that love is so essential and closely intertwined with sex and marriage is the fact that in the U.S. a 1990 study in the media showed that 90% of married individuals had never cheated on their partners.

Now that we have defined the various terminology associated with relationships we will broach the general attitudes of people towards specific phases of and actions within relationships and provide information on the average time period in which these actions occur and under which circumstances. It is important to note as one survey respondent mentioned when asked to describe the typical course of a relationship in his country that, "It's wrong if there is such a pattern". No relationship follows the exact same "pattern" as another relationship. In theory each relationship, like a snowflake, is unique and special and prepares its participants in new ways for future relationships. We will attempt to only give a broad overview of phases of relationships and intimacy and not necessarily the exact events that occur in a relationship.

As cited previously, friendship is the first phase of any advanced relationship. This phase can last anywhere from eternally to a few hours before a relationship moves beyond the initial realm of friendship (although most people in our survey indicated that the friendship is constantly growing and is extremely dynamic in any healthy, lasting relationship). In many cases, relationships return to friendships after completion as well and in other cases, the couple in the relationship was not friends originally. Looking at the previously given definition of relationship, it is no wonder that there is much confusion as what constitutes friendship and where the barrier is broken between friendship and relationship of romantic nature. The most defining elements of friendship in the feedback from our survey was that there was an element of fun, trust, respect and enjoying the company of the respective friend. Friends can communicate in a variety of ways and due to trust between friends, usually talk quite extensively and unabashedly. In the friendship stage the couple also may exhibit some forms of affection in the form of hugging, greeting (depending on the country this could range from kissing on the check, verbal greeting, bowing to handshaking). Also, there may or may not be involvement between family and the friend. Some of these friends become future partners, some remain friends. In the instance that a friendship or acquaintance should progress to a romantic level, the next step is usually dating.

Marriage is the last and never-ending phase of a serious relationship that comes to fruition. One impassioned survey respondent stated, "A long term relationship by terminology is flawed, it in and of itself puts a time restraint or term limit on the relationship. You should not make yourself emotionally vulnerable unless both parties have made a conscious and sober decision to commit 100% thick and thin, hopefully leading to marriage." Although none of the people surveyed were currently married, some were engaged to be married. Like all forms of relationships, marriages come in all shapes and forms. Still, marriage encompasses the highest forms of communication in a serious relationship. The couple is theoretically able to discuss anything and share all feelings with each other. Due to the relationship being riper, the range of feelings one may experience in this phase is much more intense and dynamic. Everything is possible in terms of physical and emotional expressions of affection in a private setting. In public settings, displays of affection such as kissing, hugging, and holding hands continue to be acceptable. Love plays the most significant role in this phase of the relationship out of all the other phases. Friendship also remains an extremely important and central component of the relationship. Domeena C. Renshaw, M.D., (professor in the department of psychiatry at Loyala Univeristy of Chicago, and director of the Sexual Dysfunction Clinic) summarizes marriage perfectly when she says, "marriage offers sexual fulfillment, security and freedom from loneliness. Good marriages hold promise of an involved partner at one’s side, plus an opportunity to build the kind of special home atmosphere most people believe is ideal." In a sense, marriage represents the very fruit of successful relationships.

In every relationship there are influences which affect both the success of the relationship as well as the type of relationship. One extremely large influence on relationships is family and friends. Family enables a person to collect a "databank" of experiences with relationships upon which one draws when entering their own relationships later on in life. Also, family and friends can be seemingly influential on what type of person and who their relatives date. Another important influence on relationships is religion. Several of the surveyed people referred to religion in several instances when questioned regarding love, sex and marriage. Religion establishes guidelines and defines states of relationships for its followers. Additionally, Media and Popular Culture are extremely influential in creating images of relationship norms. Many young people look to media to learn about aspects of relationships such as how to kiss, or to gain an image of what might look attractive to the opposite sex. Finally, Technology also plays an extremely important role in relationships. It enables more open communication and provides opportunities for people to have relationships that otherwise would not exist.