Everyday Algorithms
The experience: Driving
We all drive at some point. The rules provided below are common preconceptions and beliefs that we hold true. The fact is they are true. Following the rules below, and the laws of the road, will ensure a successful driving experience.
The rules:
Rule #1: Driving is for men only
Though there is no law against women drivers, there should be. We have been brought up to believe that soccer moms and old ladies are deadlier than ebola, and it turns out that those beliefs are well founded.
Rule #2: In America, we drive on the "right" side of the road
Half the countries in the world have screwed this up. Drive on the right side of the road, unless you're drunk and/or need to pass a slow person. In that case, use whatever means necessary.
Rule #3: If someone makes you mad, get even
If you get cut off by someone, express yourself vocally. Create new and original insults. I'm sure growing up your parents taught you how to verbally abuse other drivers on the road and reinforce the belief you are never at fault. But don't ever try to cut back at them. With your luck you'll get picked up by a cop, and they hate young drivers.
Rule #4: Trust no one
You're the only sane driver out there. If you think the guy in the Lexus won't do a donut in the middle of 400 you're dead wrong. Keep your eye on the guy in the souped up Civic in the HOV lane. He'll cut across all the lanes of traffic without signaling just so he can save five seconds. Stupid, yes. But it will happen.
Rule #5: The speed limit actually means minimum speed
If it says "35 MPH", and you're behind a guy doing 35, you'll probably burst a vein. You'll curse and swear at him, tailgate, honk your horn to get him moving. But chances are he's not paying attention to you. That's because he's trying to smoke a cigarette, talk on the cell phone, and drive with one foot out the window while listening to bass. But so long as he drives slowly, everything is just dandy. Don't be fooled. Though there isn't much you can do about this aside from scream. Whatever you do, don't be that guy.
Rule #6: When stopped at a light, stop on the line
Everyone is paranoid that if they pull up to the line at a red light a mine or something will explode. Don't stop a car length behind it. The line is there to show you where the light sensors are. If the guy in front of you does this, and you have room, go around and get in front of him. Don't stand for his Tom Foolery.
